captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
