I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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