drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
where am i from again
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
