Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
