Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
found the other keg... it's in the tree
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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