i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
