So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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