When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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