quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
