I am puke
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Don't EVER smell your tampon
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
