Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
