I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
