woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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