Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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