pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
So here I am, sexting at work.
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