I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
