ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
