Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
