i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
