I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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