Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way

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(240): View more from Maryland

Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.

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(425): View more from Washington

Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.

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(813): View more from Florida

peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be

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(314): View more from Missouri

You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad

(224): View more from Illinois

I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.

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(850): View more from Florida

I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.

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