I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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