I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
