You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
