my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize