Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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