sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
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