Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
He is an equal opportunity slut.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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