The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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