when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
