That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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