Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
