You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
