hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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