Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
