so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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