Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i wish my penis had a tongue
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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