woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
