white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
