i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize