hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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