Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
