you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
