how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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