oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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