He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize