i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
