There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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