booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
