Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
