I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
