Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
