So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
