There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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