if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
The power of my boobs compel you
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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