I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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