well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
