can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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