thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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