last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
There's always time for handjobs
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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