I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
